Knowing how to use an assertive communication style will enable you to better understand your colleagues, and foster stable and smoother relationships

Assertive communication is about knowing what kind communication style you have, and recognizing the style of others.

This will help you better understand not only yourself, but also will allow you to be able to formulate the right responses, depending on the style of communication with the person you are dealing with.

Here are the three styles of communication:

1. Aggressive Communication. As the name of the communication style implies, aggressive communicators are prideful creatures, rarely admitting (if admitting at all) their mistakes, and generally believe themselves to be right most of the time (if not all the time, in extreme cases).

People with the aggressive style of communication are poor listeners and are tunnel visioned on a single idea – most probably their own. They might also rude and arrogant, dominating, domineering and manipulative. Aggressive communicators will not think twice about twisting facts, even outright lying, just to get what he or she wants. They also try to speak the loudest, and will resort to shouting if they feel the situation warrants it.

If you have this type of style, then you better think twice about continuing along this path, as you are sure to have many enemies who are just waiting for you to fail. Yes having a little bit of aggression is OK, but it's better to be assertivethan aggressive.

2. Passive Communication. People who have a passive communication style are the exact opposite of the aggressive types. They never speak up, no matter how good their idea is. They never disagree, and their universal response is always to say yes – even if they end up contradicting themselves.

Passive types are also complainers and always get held up in an idea instead of actually taking action. When they do speak up, they always speak in hushed tones, making it difficult for others to understand what they’re saying.

You never know where passive types stand, because they always make it a point to be pointedly (and annoyingly) neutral. They usually are very negative about things, and are most often non-committal.

If you have this style,your indecisiveness will only earn you the irk your friends and co-workers, since you’re always in the middle. Your goal to please everybody might backfire on you.

3. Assertive communication. This is the type you should strive to adopt. Assertive people always know when to speak up and when to shut up. If they feel an idea they have is worth mentioning, they do so, but without offending anyone unnecessarily.

But if someone raises a valid criticism, assertive communication is when people listen and respect what the other person is saying, and will strive to improve on the idea as to be able to be a productive member of a team.

They are firm but fair, and strive for objectivity. They’re great team players, and teams with a lot of assertive types do well in the workplace. So take some time to understand your communication type and make the necessary changes to ensure thatyour style is working in your best interest.

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